Oh, internet… my best friend, my arch nemesis, my ride or die. We’ve been together for as long as I can remember, I am after all, a Gen Z. (Cusp, don’t question it!)
As a certified purveyor of fine memes, the internet makes up nine-tenths of my personality. I would rather tell you my pin number than reveal my clocked screentime hours. I genuinely search YouTube fail videos to help cure my assortment of (probably internet-fuelled) mental illnesses and my everyday conversation consists of so many acronyms and TikTok soundbites that I advise all future lovers to open a permanent Urban Dictionary tab. PSA, you may also need to do that after reading this article!
Now, while the aforementioned traits may scream RED FLAG, or give you the instant ick, I can assure you this, if my extreme internet usage has given me one thing, it’s the ability to curate an immaculate list of hilarious internet content. So without further ado, please allow me to Ctrl + V the funniest shit I’ve seen on the world wide web.
1. How Animals Eat Their Food
This video dropped on my 16th birthday and I remember walking around school insisting that my friends, teachers and even the school gardener watch what I then deemed to be “the funniest video ever”. In hindsight, do I regret that title and is this a cheugy video to start off with? yes Will I decide whether we can be friends based on your reaction to this video? So yes. The pinnacle of 2013 YouTube comedy and the birthday treat that keeps on giving, please enjoy the simple pleasures of How Animals Eat Their Food.
2. Is this available? (attorney general) internet drama part 1
There is nothing juicier than Facebook Marketplace beef. Lubalin has taken this real-life internet interaction and turned it into a musical comedy masterpiece. The beats, the plot development, the twist!? I’m declaring musical comedy funny again.
3. This dog rug listing on Facebook Marketplace
“Tragedy plus time equals comedy,” I whisper to myself nervously as I link you to this travesty of a Facebook listing.
4. James Acaster on British Bake Off
In lockdown one I decided that I should make gnocchi from scratch and, let me tell you, they came out so wet and hard the only accurate description I can give you is that they tasted like “river rocks”. Anyway, this video makes my kitchen nightmare look like Attica. I’m pretty sure I contracted food poisoning viewing this but comedian James Acaster struggling through a string of mental breakdowns while attempting to make flapjacks will never not be iconic.
5th Flat Earth Conference
I have a special place in my heart for conspiracy theorists. My dream is to one day own a pizzeria called Flat Earth Pizza’s just for the demographic of customers it would attract and the wild conversations I would have. For now I will make this report from a flat earthers’ conference – bonus points for the freestyle rap.
6. The Kids Write Jokes Twitter account
I know I screamed earlier about being a Zoomer and being “one with the internet” but I truly have nothing on iPad kids. Generation Alpha – those born 2010-24, yes I am vomiting in millennial – will be the funniest of all time. With their evolved texting thumbs and Google glasses, they are coming for the jugular. This Twitter page features genuine joke attempts by children and, let me say, my career in standup comedy is quaking.
7. Ziwe: Baited interview with Matt Rogers
Ziwe wants to be president of the world one day. Please enjoy this perfect segment of her baiting her white friends into racist aphorisms.
8. Sylvanian Drama on TikTok
I actually don’t have the articulation skills to define what makes this TikTok so funny so, if you don’t understand this, I’m sorry for your loss.
If you pissed away your precious youth watching Glee and/or trying to belt a high C, consider this your safe space. Yes, it’s a Facebook group where everyone pretends to be rehearsing for the same amateur musical. Way too much of my lockdown was spent here. You’re welcome.
10. This Tiktok jump scare
Number 10 should probably have been my grandma’s close-friends Instagram stories (yes, you heard right) but that is for a selected crowd only and we stan a queen who seeks privacy around her meme selection. In lieu, here is a simple yet perfect TikTok.