In a post shared on Mumsnet on Thursday, the mother, who goes by the username PillowFeather, asked if she was being too soft on her 9-year-old daughter, after her sister scolded the girl for being immature.
In the post, she explained that while her sister was at her house for a visit, her daughter was being “quite animated” in the living room, getting on her aunt’s nerves. At some point her sister had enough and told her daughter: “Don’t come clarting around me!”
After being scolded, the girl stopped dancing and ran off to her room crying, and when her mother went upstairs to check on her, she just shouted at her to go away.
When the woman asked her sister what happened, the latter answered: “She was doing that stupid dance around me and I can’t be a**ed with it, she needs to grow up.”
The poster admitted that her daughter is quite immature for her age and said “it doesn’t help that my niece [sister’s daughter] is the same age but mature for her age.”
The woman said that while her niece is currently spending the holidays hanging out with friends, her own daughter is spending them at home because she doesn’t have any friends.
According to a study by the American Psychology Association, social isolation is linked with depression, poor sleep quality, impaired executive function, accelerated cognitive decline, poor cardiovascular function and impaired immunity at every stage of life.
The Centers for Disease and Control Prevention (CDC) says that mental health “is an important part of children’s overall health and well-being,” affecting how children think, feel and act. It plays a role in how children handle stress and also relate to others.
According to CDC data, 9.4 percent of children, 5.8 million, suffer from anxiety and 8.9 percent, 5.5 million, struggle with behavior problems. Behavior problems are most common in children aged 6 to 11 years old.
Among the 359 comments in the thread, some users thought her sister had no right to treat her daughter this way in her own house, while others found it odd that a 9-year-old girl liked dancing in her living room.
One user, supersonicginandtonic, said: “To be honest if I’d gone round my sisters house to see her and my niece was dancing around all over the place, it would irritate me too.” And Hm2020 said: “I think your sister needs to grow up and remember she’s a child and she’s in said child’s house.”
Rosebel commented: “Your sister sounds horrible.. Your [daughter] was dancing, what’s wrong with that? I’d actually told my sister not to be such ab**** and to apologize for [daughter]. I wouldn’t be inviting her round again while my [daughter] what there either.”
Isaidnoalready said: “She is f***ing 9 not 19 they all p*** about dancing. Seriously I would be more concerned about an overly mature child than an immature one.” And VerySmallClanger added: “I think your sister was very unkind! If this was one of my nieces I’d just talk to them about calming down, not snap at them.”
Another user, Kanaloa said: “for a [neurotypical] 9-year-old I’d expect them to be able to communicate a bit more appropriately—sitting, having a chat or showing toys/crafts etc to a visitor. Jumping round and acting daft is the kind of thing I’d expect from a 2/3 year old excited to have a visitor, not a 9 year old.”
BungleandGeorge added: “I think your sister was unnecessarily grumpy, she needs to work on her own tolerance and maturity if she snaps at a 9-year-old just dancing around. Your daughter sounds a bit over sensitive but maybe that’s just her personality. ”
FrancescaContini wrote: “She’s 9. Let her dance as much as she wants. Your sister sounds miserable.”
Summersnearlygone said: “Your daughter should feel secure and protected in her own home and in this case she didn’t. That would worry me.”
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